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February 22, 2011

My Princess Boy by Brittany Fischer

A video called "My Princess Boy" was recently posted to YouTube. It’s a clip from a show called "New Day" and talked about a new book that a mother wrote after son Dyson began showing an interest in wearing woman's clothing and acting like a princess. Dyson’s family was very accepting and responded to the situation in the best way they could have. His school was also accepting and made sure that Dyson felt comfortable and safe at school, seeing the situation as an opportunity to teach children about diversity. Sadly, the video received many nasty comments on YouTube. Here’s one: "If they were my neighbor I would had beat the f@#$ out the father and mother…[they] should be in prison, then put them in hospital for having dysfunctional brain, the father is bitch in man body." Here’s another: "F#$&@# White Devil!!!!, only he encourages this kinda homosexuality. Lord knows that boy's gonna be gay, but I prey that he can turn his fascination around and use it to attract all the little girls in all his days of school to come. I'm gonna have to prey for his father as well, because I'm sure that once him and his family starts making a decent amount of money, he's gonna kill her and take it all, and make his son do drugs and lose his virginity @ 8." One comment even accuses the parents of child abuse: "This is child abuse! This mother probably wanted a lil girl because she already has an older boy. The father seems like he could careless. The mother coaches this kid on every talk show. Little kids want what they see around them they gravitate towards familar things which is basic early childhood developement. No one plays with dolls in his house (according to the mom) and there are NO female children around him (according to the mom) so where is the influence? His MOM. child abuse!" These comments really disturbed me. I am a sophomore in college, and I have studied the developmental domains and norms of children. What Dyson decides to wear doesn't mean anything about his gender identity or sexual orientation. Children don't understand gender roles or what is deemed acceptable in society. The way people are responding to this is disgusting! In my opinion, Dyson is lucky to have accepting parents rather than some of the ignorant people in this world who wouldn't accept him for who he is. There should be no problem with a boy wearing a dress, or pink, or sparkles. There should be no problem if he wants to be a ballerina or a baker or a nurse. If a girl wants to wear baggy clothes and have short hair, she should be able to and if she wants to be a police officer or a fire fighter, she should be allowed to pursue these interests. Resorting to violence because a child innocently picks up something that sparkles and is pretty is horrible. It is natural for a child to respond positively to something that sparkles and glows. I have seen many children playing with "girly" clothes and costumes and toys and to say that all of these children are going to end up being gay or transgender is ridiculous. If Dyson’s parents told him he couldn't wear "girl” clothes, it wouldn't have stopped him from liking it. It would make him feel insecure and unaccepted. Many people who commented on the video said it’s a parent's job to control their children. This is not exactly true. Children develop important aspects of their personality at different ages, and you are supposed to let a child do what they want naturally while making sure they are safe. Dyson is at the age where children begin to discover who they are, and it’s important that he receive positive feedback on how he expresses himself in order to develop in a healthy manner with self-esteem. To the people who say Dyson will regret this when he is older, I disagree. If I were Dyson, I would be proud of my parents for standing up for me, allowing me to be myself, and educating others so that other children will not feel alone and they will know there are people who love them for who they are. I think it was a great idea to make the story of this child into a book, and I hope to get a copy of it to have in my classroom one day. We need more children’s books that promote acceptance and equality. Some people responded negatively to the video because of their religious beliefs. My understanding is the bible says god loves all his children and that murder is wrong. God is the only one who has the right to judge because no one is perfect. I'm not a religious person, but I believe that god would want people to be who they are. I also believe that god would want everyone to accept others for who they are and treat them with kindness and respect, even if they don't agree with how that person may be acting. No one deserves to be treated poorly and criticized and discriminated against because they dare to be themselves. Everyone is different, and special, and unique, and no one should be ashamed of who they really are on the inside. If you wish to view the video "My Princess Boy" you can follow the link below. Let me know what you think! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MBBffc0Rtc8 Brittany Fischer is a sophomore at SUNY College at Fredonia and has been an active member of PFY’s Coffeehouse since ?. The article above reflects the writer’s viewpoint and not necessarily the viewpoint or position of Pride for Youth.