My Experience on TLC's What Not To Wear

by Jill Estes, Community Educator

When I was nominated for TLC’s show What Not To Wear, I was at first quite a bit offended. But after the experience I am grateful to have been part of it. The show aired last Tuesday, March 22nd. For a one-hour show, there was an incredible amount of work that went on behind the scenes.
The week of filming and shopping was long, exhausting and fun. That week made me realize a lot of things about myself that I wouldn’t have looked at if I weren’t forced to.

When I first arrived I thought this would be a great opportunity to have some time away from my busy schedule and relax. I immediately realized that was not the case. I also had the assumption that this was solely about my clothing and style. This too was not the case. The week of filming and shopping was a long and tiring one, but an experience I am lucky to have. I can’t count the amount of interviews, the amount of taxi’s I took, or the amount of stores I shopped in.

One major challenge on the show was to find clothing that was “work appropriate” but still felt like me. The show’s hosts, Stacy London and Clinton Kelly, brought up a very valid point. When I dressed for work I did my best to hide my tattoos. Being that one main focus of the work I do is spreading the message to be true to yourself, and that nobody needs to conform to society’s mold, I was acting hypocritical for many years by covering myself up so much when I went out into the community. We agreed to find a happy medium.

The biggest challenge was finding clothes that didn’t make me feel uncomfortable in my own skin. My gender identity was a major conflict with many of the outfits they made me try on. I fall under the transgender umbrella as a gender bender who loves appearing androgynous. Although I am quite comfortable identifying as female, I do not feel comfortable in over feminized clothing. Every time they would put me in ruffles or floral prints I would shriek. During the countless interviews I was consistently asked why I didn’t feel comfortable in most women’s clothing. And I consistently answered that “I felt like I was dressing in drag”. Luckily, by the end of the week, I was able to find a wardrobe that met that happy medium and was true to my androgynous nature.

This experience made me take a long hard look at my inner workings. Here I am, a 29 year old confident woman doing valuable work in the community, yet I was hiding myself. I was forced to examine why this is. The outcome revealed that rather than hiding my body art when dressing for work, or feeling uncomfortable in over feminized clothing, I could find a wardrobe that works with my “permanent accessories” and keeps true to my personality.

The show didn’t air until about two months after the filming. I spent that two months growing worried as to how the producers would portray me, and enjoying my new wardrobe and hair cut, of course. They had so much footage of me that they could make me look like anybody they wanted. When I finally saw the show I was relieved to see that the producers really let the audience know who I am.

Being on TLC’s What Not To Wear was a life changing experience for me. Not too often in life am I forced to look deep inside for answers. By taking this deep look, I found some weaknesses that I could work on, and much new strength that I never knew I had. Over all I am very happy with the outcome of this major life transformation. I also must admit that shopping, which I used to despise, I now love and can’t seem to get enough of!

The Vagina Monologues

by Becca Harrington, Social Work Intern

In 1998, on Valentine’s Day, Eve Ensler and a group of women started V-Day as a non-profit organization to empower women and stop the violence that so many of them endure. Now, every year during February, March, and April, Eve Ensler gives the rights of her play, the Vagina Monologues, to groups all over the world to perform, in an effort to raise money that will benefit local agencies fighting to stop the violence against women.

On March 13th, Long Islander Laura Ruhl pulled together a cast of amazing women to honor and be a voice for all women who have faced violence simply because of their sexual anatomy. Proceeds were split up between five agencies on the Island: Pride for Youth, F.E.G.S. Positive Space, Thursday’s Child, Auntie M’s Helping Hands, and the Anti-Violence Project of Long Island.

When Laura came to Pride for Youth and explained her vision, I was ready to join the ranks. It was an honor and a privilege to work with a group of wonderful women and spread the funny, horrible, tragic, intellectual, and insightful stories of women from all over the world who are violence survivors.

For me, participating in the Vagina Monologues was about standing in solidarity with straight women, lesbian women, bisexual women, transwomen – all women – and expressing the pain that we have endured for thousands of years. It was also greatly empowering to speak frankly about the vagina, stripping away the shame and guilt that women are often forced to carry.

You might be asking what does this all have to do with the LGBT community? Well, the shame, guilt, and violence that women experience are also what many LGBT people experience. LGBT youth are sexually harassed, assaulted, taunted, and bullied daily at school, in the media, and even on the internet. LGBT people, in general, are surrounded by a society that promotes a heterosexual agenda in which being LGBT is something that happens to you and needs to be fixed. It is not that far from the idea that women are less valuable than any man and she is only capable of doing and being what is deemed appropriate. LGBT people and female-bodied individuals both live a society in which they can count on being a victim more than they can count being safe.

I want to thank Laura Ruhl for allowing me to be part of her production and for generously donating some of the proceeds to Pride for Youth.

Tune in to TLC's What Not To Wear Tonight!!

Tonight is the big night! Be sure to check out the brand new episode of What Not to Wear at 9pm on TLC, featuring PFY’s very own Community Educator, Jill Estes, getting a fabulous makeover. Filming took place in this past December and January and PFY was used as a location! Be sure to keep an eye out for some “cameos” from some other PFY staff, alumni and participants. Congratulations Jill on this exciting opportunity!

Mpowerment LI Gears Up for AIDS Walk

By Galo Cunto, Prevention Specialist

The AIDS Walk New York has been taking place since 1986 and is reported to be the largest AIDS fundraiser in the world, raising over $100 million dollars since its first event. The money raised goes to local, national and international agencies that serve people living with HIV and AIDS in a wide variety of ways. The walk is about 6.2 miles long and begins in Central Park. For 2011—AIDS Walk’s 26th annual event—the walk takes place on May 15th.

Mpowerment LI is very excited to be participating for the first time this year. We have a team that is steadily growing and highly motivated to raise money for this important cause. Mpowerment LI understands the difficulties and challenges that GBT young men face in regards to health and lifestyle. AIDS and HIV are one more element in our complex multifaceted lives, and it continues to disproportionately affect our community. Participating in AIDS Walk is an excellent way to make a difference in this epidemic, from raising donations to raising awareness.

Our goal is to raise $750. Please consider supporting our effort, whether you’d like to make a donation and/or join our team on the walk. Visit Mpowerment LI's Team Page to register to walk with us or Our Pledge Page to help us reach our fundraising goal. Thanks!

Great Neck South MIddle School GSA Gives Big Gift

Earlier today Community Educator Jill Estes and Director Pete Carney had the great pleasure to meet with the Great Neck South Middle School Gay/Straight Alliance.

This was Jill’s second time meeting with the group and today she was conducting a workshop on “Creating Strong LGBT Allies”.

About 30 young people were in attendance and enthusiastically participated. At the conclusion of the workshop the president and vice president of the GSA presented a check to Pride for Youth for $188.00, raised by the GSA through a bake sale.

Pride for Youth is so grateful for this donation which will help to fund transportation services for youth to our Coffeehouse and group programming. Huge thanks to co-coordinators Karla Krupala and Karyn Horowitz and all the students involved in the GSA for your generous donation!

Help Restore NYS Youth Funding

An important message to Pride for Youth's supporters from Andy Peters. Friends: Governor Cuomo’s 2011/2012 Executive Budget poses very serious threats to youth services. If passed by the Legislature without revision, it is very likely that state support for LICC’s hotlines and street outreach program, via the Office of Children and Families’ Youth Development and Delinquency Prevention (YDDP) and Runaway and Homeless Youth Act (RHYA) funding streams, will cease. Just like the 2009 Block Grant fight with Governor Paterson, the need for advocacy is urgent. The future of the hotline and street outreach is in jeopardy. Please help us raise our voice to elected officials. We won the fight in 2009, and we can do it again. But we need to generate as many letters, phone calls, etc. as possible. What You Can Do: 1. Send a letter to Governor Cuomo. Instructions and a template are included below. Feel free to personalize the letter, but all you have to do is cut and paste it to his on-line contact form. 2. Send letters to the Senate and Assembly Chairs of the Children and Families Committee. These are the key folks who will weigh in on OCFS funding, and they’ve both said they will work to restore our funding, but we need to keep the pressure on. Instructions and a template are included below. 3. Send letters to your NYS Assemblyperson and Senator. Instructions/template below. 4. Call the Governor’s phone line: (518) 474-8390 and your NYS legislators. Here’s a script: “I’m calling with a grave concern about the Executive Budget. Youth development and runaway and homeless youth funding must be restored. The proposed Primary Prevention Incentive Program Block Grant will wipe out our local safety net for troubled youth. Please take action by striking out this Block Grant from the budget, and restoring Youth Development and Delinquency Prevention and Runaway and Homeless Youth Act funding to their 2010 levels.” 5. Schedule an appointment with your NYS legislators to tell them about these issues. 6. Let me know what you’ve done so I can keep track of our collective efforts: AJPeters@longislandcrisiscenter.org 7. Forward this message to all your friends, family members, colleagues, etc.!!! Thank you. We’ll win this fight together. Andy Letter to Governor Cuomo **Just cut and paste into his on-line contact form The Honorable Andrew M. Cuomo Governor of New York State NYS Capitol Building Albany, NY 12224 Dear Governor Cuomo: Eliminate the Proposed PPIP Block Grant, and Restore Appropriations to RHYA, YDDP and SDPP to 2010 Levels. The State budget deficit requires sacrifices by all New Yorkers. But when it comes to cutting services, those sacrifices must take into account our responsibility to disenfranchised youth. The elimination of the Runaway and Homeless Youth Act (RHYA), Youth Development and Delinquency Prevention (YDDP) and Special Delinquency Prevention Program (SDDP) under the Office of Children and Families Services (OCFS), will annihilate community-based services that provide critical intervention to young people who lack family support and stand at a dangerous crossroads. This isn’t sharing the deficit burden. It’s asking troubled minors to give up everything they have: a bed at a shelter, a community center counselor, a safe place in their neighborhood to go to after school—the opportunity to turn their lives around. The alternative: the Primary Prevention Incentive Program (PPIP) Block Grant is based on a good idea—reinvest detention facility closure savings into community-based services that prevent costly residential placements. But at a mere 50% of OCFS’s current youth development funding, and competitively awarded to localities with the highest rate of residential placements, this program in no way replaces, nor does it do better than the State’s current system for supporting at-risk youth. Localities that do well preventing residential placements, since they have services in place via RHYA, YDDP and SDDP, will be penalized as they will be ineligible for funding AND they will lose those services that have kept youth from needing to be placed. The result will be more youth entering costly systems of care across the state. Moreover, the Block Grant does nothing to assist New York’s tens of thousands of runaway and homeless youth, who come from all communities—suburban, rural, urban, wealthy, working class and impoverished—and who were heretofore protected by responsible legislation and a system of regulations for their care. Thank you for your attention to this important matter. Letter for Children & Families Chairs **Cut and paste to Senator Diane Savino: and Assemblywoman Amy Paulin: Dear Senator Savino/Assemblywoman Paulin: Eliminate the Proposed PPIP Block Grant, and Restore Appropriations to RHYA, YDDP and SDPP to 2010 Levels. The State budget deficit requires sacrifices by all New Yorkers. But when it comes to cuts to services, those sacrifices must take into account our responsibility to disenfranchised youth. The Governor’s proposed elimination of the Runaway and Homeless Youth Act (RHYA), Youth Development/Delinquency Prevention (YDDP) and Special Delinquency Prevention Program (SDDP), under the Office of Children and Families Services (OCFS), will annihilate community-based services that are critical interventions to young people who lack family support and stand at a dangerous crossroads. This isn’t sharing the deficit burden. It’s asking troubled minors to give up everything they have: a bed at a shelter, a community center counselor, a safe place in their neighborhood to go to after school—the opportunity to turn their lives around. The Governor’s alternative, the Primary Prevention Incentive Program (PPIP) Block Grant, is based on a good idea—reinvest detention facility closure savings in services to prevent costly residential placements. But at a mere 50% of OCFS’s current youth development funding, and competitively awarded to localities with the highest rate of placements, the Block Grant in no way replaces, nor does it do better than the State’s current youth support system. As a supporter of Long Island Crisis Center, I know the importance of RHYA and YDDP-funded programs. Our crisis hotlines help 10,000 youth and families per year. Some are living day-to-day, sleeping in an abandoned car or on a friend’s couch when they can. Others are overwhelmed by myriad stressful life events and suicidal. Our street outreach program canvasses for disconnected teens—at high risk for gang involvement—and links them to positive alternatives, such as job training. Without RHYA and YDDP, these programs will close. Thank you for your attention to this important matter. I look forward to hearing from you Letter to Your Senator and Assembly rep **Cut and paste to your appropriate representatives listed below. Dear Senator/Assemblymember: Eliminate the Proposed PPIP Block Grant, and Restore Appropriations to RHYA, YDDP and SDPP to 2010 Levels. The State budget deficit requires sacrifices by all New Yorkers. But when it comes to cuts to services, those sacrifices must take into account our responsibility to disenfranchised youth. The Governor’s proposed elimination of the Runaway and Homeless Youth Act (RHYA), Youth Development/Delinquency Prevention (YDDP) and Special Delinquency Prevention Program (SDDP), under the Office of Children and Families Services (OCFS), will annihilate community-based services that are critical interventions to young people who lack family support and stand at a dangerous crossroads. This isn’t sharing the deficit burden. It’s asking troubled minors to give up everything they have: a bed at a shelter, a community center counselor, a safe place in their neighborhood to go to after school—the opportunity to turn their lives around. The Governor’s alternative, the Primary Prevention Incentive Program (PPIP) Block Grant, is based on a good idea—reinvest detention facility closure savings in services to prevent costly residential placements. But at a mere 50% of OCFS’s current youth development funding, and competitively awarded to localities with the highest rate of placements, the Block Grant in no way replaces, nor does it do better than the State’s current youth support system. As a supporter of Long Island Crisis Center, I know the importance of RHYA and YDDP-funded programs. Our crisis hotlines help 10,000 youth and families per year. Some are living day-to-day, sleeping in an abandoned car or on a friend’s couch when they can. Others are overwhelmed by myriad stressful life events and suicidal. Our street outreach program canvasses for disconnected teens—at high risk for gang involvement—and links them to positive alternatives, such as job training. Without RHYA and YDDP, these programs will close. Thank you for your attention to this important matter. I look forward to hearing from you NYS Senators/Assembly Reps for Nassau County residents. You can look up your representatives by entering your zip code at these sites: NYS Assembly Directory NYS Senate Directory Senator Carl Marcellino Senator Kemp Hannon: (lists e-mail address only) hannon@senate.state.ny.us Senator Charles Fuschillo Senator Dean Skelos Senator Jack Martins Assemblyman Joseph Saladino Assemblyman Charles Lavine Assemblyman Brian Curran Assemblyman Michael Montesano Assemblyman Thomas McKevitt Assemblywoman Earlene Hooper: NO E-MAIL OR CONTACT FORM / PLEASE MAIL OR CALL: http://assembly.state.ny.us/mem/Earlene-Hooper/contact/ Assemblyman David McDonough Assemblyman Harvey Weisenberg Assemblyman Ed Ra All information is also available at: http://http://www.longislandcrisiscenter.org/fundingcrisis.html and on our Facebook page, which you can 'Like' If you have any questions, contact Andy at AJPeters@longislandcrisiscenter.org